Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.
The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.
A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause.
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours.
I like movies.
I like making connections between things.
So here’s some double feature ideas:
More suggestions welcome! And if anyone can think of a modern/accessible movie that would go well with On the Waterfront or Casablanca, I would be really pleased if you passed it on to me - I keep wanting to show these movies to my friends but I feel like they’re just gonna snooze if they don’t have anything to hold onto going in, even if it’s just the promise of a different movie that contains full color sex and explosions afterward. You know?
My favorite website is, and has been for a while, Autostraddle, a feminist and queer women’s news and culture blog. It’s really great, trans-inclusive, sharp, smart, thoughtful, witty - I love it. And for several of the years that I’ve loved it, most of those years in fact, I was a queer woman, or a bisexual genderqueer person, and both of those demographics are deliberately courted as its audience.
Now, though - now I’m a man, or round up to man, anyway: testosterone, male pronouns, etc. I’m uncomfortable claiming myself as non-binary these days because I’m not really sure whether I belong in that category or not - I’m still figuring it out, and my male identity is pretty fragile this early on in my transition - basically I think that I’ll be comfortable with gender neutral pronouns as well as male pronouns someday, and that I’ll be able to femme it up a little more at that point, but it’s too soon right now because I still don’t get read as male consistently by the world at large, and I’m insecure about that. Ideally, someday, I’ll have a much more typically male physical appearance, and I’ll be more secure in my own identity, and I’ll have fun with makeup and femininity and being, I don’t know, 80% male on the inside? That sounds awesome.
Anyway, back to Autostraddle, and the present. They cater to women and genderqueer people, but mostly to women, and I respect that. I think women’s spaces are great, and that men don’t get to co-opt them, or ask that they allow us in or include us in their discussions. I still read Autostraddle because it’s the best source of queerness and feminism that I know of, and those two things are so necessary to me, and I love them. But I’m a man, or as good as, so I am standing back a bit more, which mostly involves commenting less, as I was never really involved in the community beyond that.
Recently there was a comment thread that became a discussion about Autostraddle’s inclusion of non-female genders, and I piped up with a long-winded and ill-advised comment about the oppression of transgender people as a whole, that it wasn’t just trans women, although of course trans women definitely drew the short straw as far as oppression goes. (I don’t like the trend of centering the voices of transmasculine people in trans spaces. I think it ought to be the opposite.)
I was rightfully (and gently) reminded to check my privilege, and I regret posting the comment to begin with. It was a helpful reality check, but it made me feel kind of homeless.
Autostraddle has historically been not only an entertaining and informative and generally lovely source of queer and feminist news and culture, but it has also felt like a safe space for a trans person like myself, even though I’m a guy.
I know there are plenty of trans blogs, some trans websites, and myriad trans tumblrs that do include trans men in their target audience. Original Plumbing comes to mind. But - I’m not really looking for a trans-specific website. I’m looking for a queer and feminist website that’s trans-inclusive - and sharp, smart, thoughtful, witty. Autostraddle is one of the only websites I know where the comments are worth reading.
Another alternative, I suppose, would be to look for a queer men’s website, but the ones I’ve perused don’t seem particularly trans-inclusive (usually trans-erasing), or bi-inclusive (often implicitly or explicitly biphobic), or feminist, and they’re often very very white (I’m white, but I’m also into dismantling white supremacy, so this bothers me). They often seem to focus a lot on the mainstream (white, cis, monosexual, able-bodied, assimilationist, male) gay culture - I don’t even really consider them queer, they’re that normative.
Feminist websites, while wonderful (I really like The Toast and Bitch) tend to be less queer-inclusive, and again, they tend to cater to women.
To break it down, these are the primary qualities I appreciate in a website:
- bi-inclusion (and inclusion of non-monosexuality in general)
- a commitment to the interests people of color
- a writing/editorial staff that reflects all of the above
- a wide range of articles (fashion, nerdliness, news, culture, humor, literary, movie and music reviews, etc. etc. etc.)
- snark and sass
- thoughtfulness and intelligent analysis
- a supportive commenter community
I’m not really sure what to do. In general, I find women more interesting and awesome than men (though I’m like, 75% into dudes romantically and sexually), and I love sites with a queer focus, or at least deliberate, non-token queer inclusion.
I’m not going to leave Autostraddle when it’s the only place I know that fills these needs, but I wish I knew of more places to try - sites to check out that I might fit into better, where I might find myself courted too.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Is there anyone among us who doesn’t think Star Wars could use a little Nick Fury? (Source)
…it’s a universe with a well-established history of just cloning the shit out of people at the slightest excuse. Samuel L. Jackson could theoretically play every role in the next movie without it being that implausible, by Star Wars standards.
Holy shit I would pay twice the going rate for a movie ticket to see a film performed entirely by Samuel L. Jackson. I don’t even care what film. Star Wars, Pride & Prejudice, Sherlock Holmes, The Godfather…Any. Movie.
“From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and fucking conceit made me realize that you were the last motherfucker in the world I could ever be fucking prevailed upon to marry.”
It is a truth fucking universally acknowledged that a single motherfucker in possession of a giant motherfucking fortune must be in want of a goddamn wife.
“The fucking recollection of what I said—of my fucking conduct, my fucking manners, my motherfucking expressions during it, is now, and has been many fucking months, goddamned painful to me. Your reproof, I shall never fucking forget: ‘had you behaved like less of a motherfucker.’ Those were your goddamned words. You know not, you can scarcely fucking conceive, how they have tortured me.”
“Really, Watson, you fucking excel yourself,” said Holmes, pushing back his chair and lighting a cigarette. “I am bound to say that in all the fucking accounts which you have been so good as to give of my own small achievements you have fucking habitually underrated your own motherfucking abilities. It may be that you are not yourself fucking luminous, but you are a motherfucking conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a fucking remarkable power of stimulating it. I confess, my dear fellow, that I am very much in your fucking debt.”
Motherfucker, mama always said life was like a box of fucking chocolates. You never fucking know what you’re gonna get.
To fuck up a motherfucker or to not fuck up a motherfucker, that is the question.
Guys this is the kind of thinking that got Snakes On A Plane made
But soft! What fucking light through yon motherfucking window breaks! It is the fucking east, and that motherfucker Juliette is the fucking sun
“Harry, you’re a mothafuckin wizard.”
“Bitch, did I stutter?”
“A little motherfucking sea-bathing would set me up for fucking ever.”
“About three goddamn things I was absolfuckinglutely postive. First, Edward was a motherfucking vampire. Second, there was a part of his sparkly blood drinking ass — and shit if I know how strong that part of the cold bastard might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was fucking unconditionally, irrefuckinvocably, in motherfucking love with the pale ass blood drinking motherfucker. “
We want the finest motherfuckin’ cakes known to humanity. We want them fuckers here and we want them fuckers now!
“One day, and that fuckin’ day may never come, I may call upon your bitch ass to do me a motherfuckin’ favor. But for now, consider this a fuckin’ piece of generosity on the day of my daughter’s fuckin’ wedding.”
“You cannot fucking stain a motherfucking black coat.”
“And none for Gretchen motherfucking Weiners, bye.”
“My good fucking opinion, once lost, is lost forever, motherfucker.”
We must be as swift as the fucking cold river, with all the force of the badass typhoon, screw shit up like the goddamn fire, mysterious as the mutherfucking dark side of the motherfucking moon.
“I’M FLYING MOTHERFUCKERS!”
The wand chooses the god damn wizard motherfucker!
Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Motherfucker was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything; I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life. No, I guess Motherfucker is just a… piece in a jigsaw puzzle… a missing piece.”
“With great motherfucking power comes great motherfucking responsibility.”
“I will take the motherfucking ring to fucking Mordor.” [pause] “Though I do not know the motherfucking way.”
“I’m the mother fucking Doctor, bitch! I’m worse than everybody’s fucking aunt!”
“Pay no fucking attention to that motherfucker behind the curtain.”
One ring to rule those bitchasses, one ring to goddamn find them, one ring to bring all those motherfuckers and in darkness bind them.
“I’m gonna fucking steal the Declaration of Motherfucking Independence.”
“Your ass shouldn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, motherfucker.”
“Lemme tell you a riddle. Your ass is waitin for a train, a train that will take your ass far away. You know where you hope this motherfuckin train will take you, but you don’t motherfuckin know for goddamn sure. But it doesn’t motherfuckin matter. How the fuck can it not matter to you where the fuck this train takes your ass?”
“Fuckers assume that time is a fucking strict progression of motherfucking cause to motherfucking effect. But actually from a goddamned non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it’s more like a big motherfucking ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey…goddamned stuff.”
Toto, I’ve got a goddamn feeling we ain’t in motherfucking Kansas no more.
One morning I shot a motherfucking elephant in my fucking pajamas. How the fuck it got there, I don’t motherfucking know.
This is motherfucking Sparta bitch!
Seven motherfucking minutes ago… we, your forefather motherfuckers, were brought forth upon a most motherfucking excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill… and Ted. These two great motherfucking gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my motherfucking time, just as it’s true today. Be motherfucking excellent to each other. And… MOTHERFUCKING PARTY ON, DUDES!
“As you goddamm wish.”
“I AM MOTHERFUCKING SPARTACUS.”
“No, *I* am motherfucking Spartacus.”
“One motherfuckin’ day more before the godamn storm. Will we ever, ever, for the love of a motherfucker in the storm, meet the fuck again?”
That motherfucker is like fucking fire and ice and shit. He’s like the motherfucking night and the storm and the heart of the goddamn sun. He’s ancient as shit and fucking forever. He fucking burns at the center of goddamn time and he can see the turn of the fucking universe. And that motherfucker is awesome as shit.
Guys Star wars happens “A long long time ago, In a galaxy Far Far away” Fury hasn’t been born yet in them.
Only if you assume that George Lucas was making a documentary. Otherwise for all we know the actual intended audience of the piece was Jack Harkness sitting around on Boeshane in the year 5122.
Also this seems to indicate a despicable lack of faith in the time travel abilities of Nick Fury.
Or that you think our current Nick Fury is not himself potentially a clone of the Furies that existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
…and now I am picturing Samuel L. Jackson as all three Greek Furies.
“We’re here for vengeance, motherfuckers!”
Either way, you’ll be receiving a visit from Director Fury shortly. I strongly suggest you have an explanation prepared.
These are a few of my least favorite things:
- the entire story revolves around the character being trans, like that’s their whole life
- MISOGYNY IN FTM FICS
- TRANSMISOGYNY ALWAYS
- giant whiny long trite monologues about how much they hate their body
- USING THE WRONG FUCKING PRONOUNS IN NARRATION JESUS CHRIST ONE GOOGLE SEARCH IS ALL I ASK
- all trans fics are about bodies
- trans bodies are not sexy, à la “I’m straight/gay/lesbian and you have the wrong parts,” or some variation thereof
- always stealth, always insecure
- transphobes are all equally transphobic and Evil with a capital E, everyone else is perfect and accepting and wonderful from day one
- the trans character is always more disgusted with their body than their sex buddy, like always, and their sex buddy thinks they’re the hottest creature ever and never wishes anything were different honey unless you want it to be and cures the trans character’s body image issues with sex - and healing sex in a more general sense, please can we not, sex is not a panacea and cannot cure depression or PTSD or dysphoria or anything at all actually, it’s just sex
- basically, lack of nuance on multiple levels
- transitioning is only about physical changes and names/pronouns
- gratuitous transphobic violence/language/bullying
- trans guys never have meta or phallo, just a hysto and top surgery at most
- if trans women haven’t had genital surgery, they get erections and ejaculate no matter how long they’ve been on blockers
- always gotta do the self hate
- STEALTH STEALTH STEALTH TO EVERYONE NO I DON’T HAVE ANY RELATIVES WHAT
- body hate —> celibacy/virginity
- fade to black sex/relationships, if they happen at all
- all the tired old trite trans clichés forever
- first explain that the character is trans, then the story can begin
- the main character’s love interest is never trans because OMG it’s so hard to sell a trans body as sexy
- the story literally exists to say that this or that character could be trans, the end
- always self pity never anger always envy never pride always anguish never confidence
Exceptions exist, but not in the top most kudos’d ao3 fics tagged ftm, which is infuriating because ao3 DOES have excellent ftm fics and apparently these boring trite self-congratulatory ally fics get more attention. Because okay, I can see a trans person writing a fic like one of these, but not all of them, because seriously they have huge cis pity vibes and it’s not good.
Also who hates the way the word “genderflip” is used? And “rule 63”? Because, ugh, sometimes it’s used about trans fic, which just, no. And it’s FREQUENTLY used when a character is “suddenly the opposite gender” - NO. THAT IS NOT. NO. GENITALS DON’T DETERMINE GENDER, AND ALSO YOU ARE LETTING A LOT OF PRIVILEGE SHOW THERE OKAY. Like, it’s fine to be curious about what Harry Potter would do if he woke up with a vagina via some Voldemortian plot gone hilariously awry (probably yell at his friends until Voldemort got dead and the spell reversed itself, I’m guessing), but his having a vagina does not make him a girl and does NOT MEAN that you should start using female pronouns in the narration. Let me repeat: JUST BECAUSE YOU CHANGED A CHARACTER’S GENITALS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CHANGED THEIR GENDER.
A couple exceptions:
"Second Chances" (X-Men: First Class, Erik/Charles) by Red
"Brilliant and Commonplace" by…also by Red, apparently. Never made that connection - thanks, author! (BBC Sherlock, John/Sherlock)
"…and even demanded legal rights for prostitutes, including the right to be free of police harassment."
From a Baffler article about Lean In. Somehow I missed all the controversy about the book when it came out, so I’m educating myself now.
So far, though, this bit is what sticks out - how far we have regressed with respect to the rights of sex workers.
I’ve heard that in Amsterdam it’s only illegal to pay for sex, or to offer payment for sex, not to solicit payment for sex. If you’re going to criminalize prostitution, that seems like the way to go about it.
"Including the right to be free of police harassment." That’s huge.
"…and even demanded legal rights for prostitutes, including the right to be free of police harassment."
From a Baffler article about Lean In. I missed all the c
Page 1 of 94